Apparently, I Peaked in College...

...and it's all been down hill from there.

My sister is due this week and I am feeling really sorry for myself.

I have two degrees. My husband has one degree and probably about four minors since he changed his major so much and it took him about 7 years to earn his Bachelor's.

When my sister got married to my husband's best friend, my dh and I of course were both part of the wedding party. They each had five attendants. Amazingly, dh and I were the only two people on stage who had finished degrees.

I often joke on ttc message boards that we can't get pregnant because dh's sperm are too busy enjoying the scenic route. They have to check out every nook and cranny along the way on their supposed journey to find my eggs. Yes, dh's sperm are very intellectual. That, or my eggs enjoy playing hard to get.

I guess I'm so disappointed because the very nature of my education and dh's education would indicate that we would be great with kids. He is a cardiopulmonary technician who specializes in neonates and I am an elementary school teacher.

I'm currently berating myself for the great idea I had ten years ago. When dh and I got engaged, I changed my career plans from psychology to elementary education, thus creating my own personal hell. Dh grew up in a large family with a SAHM, and I knew he wanted kids. Up to that point in my life I would have been just fine being childfree. Then, I got the bright idea of becoming a teacher so that I would have holidays and summers off with our children. I was counting our chickens before they hatched, in a big way. Now, I'm stuck in a job with a definite ceiling, unless I want to go back to school and get a Masters in something else. Unfortunately, IF has zapped my self-confidence and Lupron has destroyed my memory, so I don't feel like I could handle twelve more classes with any amount of success. It amazes me that I could be successful at most everything for the first 25 years of my life, only for so much to fall apart because of my health.

It's just wrong when an educated couple who earns well over the national mean income is left childless. There's so much that we could offer a child, but for some reason, Karma, or whatever our dreams are no longer coming true. Perhaps I used up all of my luck early in life.