Still Spinning Our Wheels

I've been bad about posting lately. We're coming closer and closer to the end of the line in our IF treatments, so I'm trying to distance myself. I have to prepare myself for the possibility that our IVF a few months from now may not work, and if we don't have any embryos to freeze, then we'll be at the end of the line.

Dh had another appt with his urologist on 2/15. Since I had a pap on 2/14, we didn't end up having a very romantic Valentine's Day.

Anyway, the vast assortment of vitamins the urologist prescribed have not benefitted dh's swimmers in the least. Considering that dh has persisted to take these despite stomach problems for three months, we are of course disappointed. The supposed good news is that a full 12% of his sperm look good enough for ICSI. The doctor tried to buoy dh's hopes by saying that he believes there is an 80% chance that our single opportunity at IVF will work. I didn't tell dh that the stats don't agree with the urologist's statement.

I had a very emotional chat with my OB/GYN before my pap. She is very encouraged that we will be trying an IVF. I told her that I'm not very optimistic about it, and of course she told me that I should be. She seems to forget, just like my RE, that I am in fact older than I look.

However, it was interesting that two doctors in two days tried to tell dh and I that we should be encouraged and hopeful. I'd like to think that this could be a sign.

I'm trying not to get my hopes up.

At least dh finally convinced the urologist to go ahead and do the u/s of his balls to check for varicoceles. That's coming up soon.