Monday, March 28, 2005

Highs and Lows of the Week

This tends to be a very busy time of year. Not only is my birthday this week, but so is my younger sister's. When Easter happens to be during the same week we are really hopping, much to my dh's dismay his opportunities to watch March Madness become greatly reduced.

Earlier this week I did my sisterly duty and agreed that we would have dinner at my parents house on my sister's birthday. Dh was much disgruntled since he had of course planned to watch the basketball games on tv. Actually, things went rather well at first. We made it all the way through dinner and birthday cake without hearing any pregnancy or baby comments. The worst part of the dinner was when my Mom asked if I wanted her to make dinner for me on my birthday too. Dh and I had already agreed to a quiet dinner out for my birthday. When I told my Mom this news she wasn't a bit happy. I think she believes that she should be included just because she gave birth to me on that day. Isn't that what the horrors of Mother's Day is all about?

Anyway, I knew the normalcy of the evening was too good to last. As we were finishing our slices of cake, one of my sister's friends arrived. Apparently, she had been told by my sister to get baby things for her birthday. Well, this friend was in BABY MODE, which I found interesting since she isn't married and I don't think she's wanting a baby. She was talking about how EVERYONE is expecting a baby. Then, there's a friend of hers who was experiencing a miscarriage. This friend has a nine month old, but she wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant because she had used injectables for supposedly two years, so the friend isn't taking the miscarriage of the natural pregnancy well. Oh, and so and so's horse is pregnant. Yada, Yada, Yada, blah, blah, blah. Dh and I couldn't get our plates in the dishwasher and out of the door fast enough.

We had planned on spending Easter at the beach, but the weather didn't cooperate. It was storming here! So, we decided that the lesser of two evils would be to spend Easter at the in-laws.

I was trying to come up with the perfect outfit for such a miserable event, which is a typical coping mechanism for me, when dh came into the room with a bag from Ann Taylor. He had chosen a dress of hot pink silk with tiny white polka dots, which he purchased while he was spending the weekend in Indianapolis with his brother a few weeks ago. He told me that it was an Easter/birthday present. I assume it was originally intended as a birthday gift, and I would have gotten it Wednesday, but he decided it could help me to survive Easter dinner. At least his family complimented me on the dress.

I was prepared to handle my two icy SILs by packing The Romanov Prophecy by Steve Berry and supplies to make flash cards for my Italian lessons. Amazingly, I didn't even get the opportunity to pull my things from my bag. For some reason, my SILs both spent more time talking to me than they did to one another, which is strange. M. has yet another dog, some kind of small white dog that isn't a poodle; a dog similar to one I have been ogling myself the last couple of weeks. Anyway, my point is that I survived Easter.

AF arrived on Easter in the late afternoon, so there weren't any miracles for me. Since I had been told to call the RE's office in March, I did so this morning. I just received a call that due to the timing they want to wait one more cycle before starting me on bcps for IVF.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Mardi Gras Family Crisis

In October I thought I would apply to be in a ladies Mardi Gras association in my area. Several friends have been asking me to do so for years, but I'm just now doing it because...
  1. I'm just finally over the trauma associated with mandatory functions and fines that came with being a sorority member in college.
  2. I thought it could be a good way to meet new people that I wouldn't normally cross paths with.
  3. I could really use a diversion from family.
  4. I could really use a diversion from infertility.

Well, reasons number one and number three have blown up in my face. It seems that both of my SILs applied for the same organization after I had already done so. One of them, M who makes me want to vomit when I'm in the same room with her, smuggly told me that she was surprised that I hadn't applied for one. I almost lodged my contacts in the top of my head. Did she really think that I hadn't applied for one just because I didn't tell her about it?

This week I found out that I had been accepted. Of course, minutes after hearing the news I heard the phrase "some people only attend the mandatory meetings. Gag!!! What have I done. And of course, both of my SILs were accepted as well. However, everyone was accepted because so many members went honorary and there were lots of open spaces for active members.

It gets better. My friend was curious to know who had "put up" my SILs for the organization. It seems that you have to have someone willing to make a pitch about all of your wonderful attributes in order to get in. Guess what? The current president of the organization "put up" M! My head is still spinning on this one, since M has actually lived in the area all of 8 months. That's not necessarily a good thing though, because the president is not a well loved member right now. B had another ancient member put her up. However, neither was adored enough by the person who put them up to actually receive tickets to the ball this year, which I'm still trying to figure out. Why waste time putting up someone you wouldn't invite to the ball? I can only hope I received more votes than M and B.

There is a new members meeting to attend in May. I only hope I can survive it without vomiting on myself or anyone else. I'm already in search of the perfect outfit.

And sadly, the summer party for the organization is only four days after my estimated retrieval date, so I most likely won't be attending. I guess reason number 4 to join the organization has blown up in my face as well.

You may be wondering why I'm actually bothering to join at this point. I just can't let M and B drive me away from something I had decided to join first. And, supposedly there are 300+ members in the organization, and it's likely I can go through completely unaware of M and B as long as we aren't assigned to the same float.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Awkward Social Situations

My husband and I have been trying to decide what we are going to do for Easter in a couple of weeks. Since both of our parents now live only about a mile away, this is a real dilemma. My sister-in-law M has made such an ass of herself as of late that I feel a strong urge to vomit whenever I'm in the same room with her. It doesn't help that they have just put their current home on the market, and are about to move into a subdivision a mile away themselves.

Dh was suggesting that we do Easter with my parents, since it could very well be the last holiday we can bear spending with them since my sister is expecting in a month. That just doesn't seem like a possibility now.

Today we had dinner with my parents. Of course, they invited my sister and BIL as well. At the same time we walked into the door of their house, my mother was mentioning that M had transferred her church membership to the church they attend today. This was not a good beginning.

You see, back in January, M took every opportunity to give me the cold shoulder at multiple social functions. This really wouldn't bother me so terribly, if it weren't for the fact she was also being rude to my friends. For example, we were stranded at the same Super Bowl party together. Dh's brother of course came to sit at the same table with dh and I, alone with some of our friends. She sat sideways in the chair: not facing the TV, BIL, or the table for the entire first half. At half time she faced the table only because she was eating, and I bet her back was starting to hurt. On our way to get our food, I discreetly joked with my friend that perhaps we should tell her that it would be okay to turn her chair around so she wouldn't hurt her back. Anyway, my sister and M are becoming the best of buds. What a great person for my sister to consider a role model. (insert sarcasm here)

The situation with M is only made more complicated by the fact that her husband invited my best friend to come home with him after a ball in January, and told my best friend's husband that he could take home M. Apparently BIL and M don't have such a happy marriage after all.

I'm tired of being the only one to play nice. I try to start a conversation with M every time our paths cross, only for her to ignore me. However, I don't want the general public or dh's family to accuse me of being the cold hearted daughter-in-law.

If it isn't bad enough that my own sister can't understand how my sister-in-law makes me ill, my parents once again said today that I need to just get over the grudges I have against M now that she is in the family. I'm horrified that they can't empathise with me when I am their own daughter.

My sister completely ignored me today, even though I made my usual point to start a pleasant conversation. I'm starting to feel like a second class citizen in her eyes and my parents eyes just because I can't get pregnant. I can only hope that part of her silence is that she has such a guilty conscience for getting knocked up in two months flat.

I'm trying to convince dh that we should just go to the beach for Easter. I think I'll get a new Easter bikini and skip the Easter dress.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

The Stupidest Statement a Pregnant Woman Can Make...

Or one of the stupidest statements anyway...

Why do pregnant women make comments about hoping they will deliver early before they are even considered full term?

I meant to post this long ago, but I've kind of been in hiding from blog land.

A month ago stupid Julie was at lunch, and she made a comment about how miserable she was and how she hoped she would deliver early. She got her wish. At her appointment that very afternoon, it was determined that she had pre-eclampsia. Julie was hospitalized immediately and she had the baby via c-section the next day. It didn't even weight five pounds. Amazingly, she and the baby are okay.

My sister, who is due in mid April, made the same kind of comments in January.

I can understand that the later stages of pregnancy must surely be uncomfortable. However, I just can't imagine why women who are only six months pregnant would wish to go early.

I think from now on I will tell them to be careful of what they wish for.


My pap on 2/14/05 didn't come back all clear. It's ASCUS, which isn't bad. The nurse tried to tell me it's just inflammation. There are three steps between ASCUS and cervical cancer. However, as someone with cervical cancer on my records I hate hearing anything other than all clear.

Dh's upcoming appt

Dh goes on Wednesday to have an u/s of his boys to check for varicoceles. Since his urologist really didn't want to do it, and doesn't expect to find anything, it's a small victory that we were even able to get the appointment. Surprisingly, dh isn't nervous about it. Regardless of whether or not anything is found, this will ease all of our "what if" thoughts.