Sunday, September 25, 2005

Mini Van Doors Aren't Necessarily Safe

I have tried to be less exasperated with mini vans as of late. I will admit I've found the typical antics of mini van drivers in my area somewhat more tolerable since getting a BFP. I will even admit that the thought occured to me that sliding doors on mini vans could in fact be a good thing, because hopefully they prevent children from dinging the doors of other vehicles in today's substandard parking spaces.

Well, I learned this week that they don't.

I was trying to get out of my vehicle at school with everything needed for the day: purse, lunch bag, school bag, and a glass panel of butterflies. Note: I was very afraid something would happen to the delicate glass panel of assorted butterflies. I kind of feel guilty for even having it, but I certainly don't want it to be broken at school.

I have hall duty on Friday mornings, requiring that I get to school extra early. This isn't always easy in traffic with a 15 mile one-way commute. However, I thought that I was at least entitled to park with an empty space between me and the next vehicle so that I could take a minute to unload some of my stuff onto my left arm, which was hanging out of my door, without being cramped between another vehicle considering our tiny parking spaces. Well, I was wrong.

Before I could pick everything up, a blue mini van tried to zoom into the empty space, miraculously stopping before taking off my door. So, I closed my door three-fourths of the way to allow the van entrance to the space, somewhat begrudgingly. Of course, the van parks crooked without bothering to correct. Since I was barely going to get to duty on time, and I almost had everything, I thought I would at least be allowed to exit my vehicle. No.

I get out of my vehicle, barely opening the door a third of the way so as to not strike to poorly parked mini van....

The mini van door opens, hits my car door, which bumps my bags, which painfully slam into my stomach, and finally jostles my butterfly panel. Needless to say I was ticked. I managed to get my door closed, thankfully noticing that it didn't appear to be damaged. I walk across the parking lot, finally deciding to throw a "steely" look over my shoulder. OMG, it was another school employee and her child who is in one of my classes. Note: she does not have duty, ever. She did mutter a feeble apology, and looked somewhat abashed.

What a start to the day. Is it to much to ask as a teacher to just be allowed a minute to unload? I imagine the baby was well insulated from the action. The butterfly panel survived, but after I use it with my class tomorrow it will not be going back to school.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Weekend Get-a-way

Dh and I spent the weekend at the beach. We had actually made these plans before starting our IVF cycle. It's been over a year since we spent time away from home, when we went on a cruise last summer with my entire family. We were overdue for some time just for the two of us.

We were afraid that the weekend would be less enjoyable due to damage from Katrina. The damage was evident. Several boardwalks to the beach did not have stairs, and debris from the condo was washed all up and down its quarter-mile stretch of private beach. Who knows what was in the water.

We went for one walk along the beach, but it was a bit dangerous. Just once I glanced behind me at some seagulls, instead of glancing directly where my feet were stepping. Of course, I brought my foot down right on top of a very large, broken shell. I stopped putting weight on my foot just in time to prevent getting cut. It would have been upsetting to walk along a couple hundred more yards of algae polluted beach with a cut foot. (The algae accumulated from the puddles of standing water on the beach that were slowly evaporating.)

Dh and I had appointments for massages on Saturday morning. Since I had never had a massage before, I was a bit nervous. However, my upper back and neck were so stiff that I was willing to give it a try. It's amazing that a pursuit designed for relief/relaxation can still manage to bring up the dreaded feelings of IF bitterness. For starters, I was confronted with a long check list of ailments to be completed before the massage, of which I had suffered five. It was "great" to be reminded of past surgeries and a cancer diagnosis in the middle of a relaxing weekend.

The masseuse mentioned she had a daughter my age who didn't have any kids, and a son who had four kids. (GRRR!!! That bitter IF bug again.) I asked her if she got to see her grandchildren often, and learned her own sad story. Her husband had passed away four years ago, just 18 days before his retirement. They had bought a RV and everything. She eventually decided she could still move south on her own. And she admitted being bitter in regards to her bereavement. I immediately regreted having asked her any questions, having done so just out of polite interest. I really wanted to spend my hour in quiet solitude.

The masseuse informed me as she worked that she sensed some tension in my hips as well. Ha!!! What a surprise! She tried to say that's not uncommon when someone has shoulder pain, but we all know that hip tension is just left over from all of those PIO shots. (Speaking of those shots, my hips are still sore even though the swelling has subsided. It's as though all of those needle sticks have caused nerve damage or something.) During our time at the spa we were a bit disturbed to learn that the facility had actually had water in it just three weeks earlier from Katrina, with the outcome that most of the employees had become ill in one form or another from working there since.

I managed to relax considerably during our one full day away from it all, and I really needed to. I was glad to have a break from cooking and cleaning the kitchen. Okay, especially cleaning the kitchen. And it was wonderful to listen to the ocean from the balconey and stretch out in a king size bed. But alas, the weekend was all too short. Now, it's back to the real world. It's Tuesday night, and I'm already exhausted.

I wonder if there will ever be a time when I truly can escape IF. I still haven't removed the tampons from my purses, as though I'm afraid doing so will be a trigger that would result in the loss of my baby. Apparently, I'm still an IF "lunatic."

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Still Here

Well, my appts have finally been made up. Actually, my drs. appt. was shockingly brief, and hardly worth having to take half a day off of work. My weight and blood pressure were checked and the baby's heart rate was measured by doppler. (153!) The heart beats were much clearer this time. I also finally know what my blood type is, since I remembered to ask for my test results. (O+) My big u/s is scheduled for 10/5, and dh is actually going to take off to go to this one. (Since he just started a new job I was afraid it wouldn't be a possibility for him to come.)

Things have been really busy at work. Twelve new students were placed into my program this week, and I've hardly had a chance to stop and catch my breath. Fortunately I am not expecting many more new students, so I hope I will finally get to settle into a routine soon.

The school I teach at has received two student teachers from New Orleans. I remember how frustrating it was to pay for student teaching and then be left to work full time for free for 3+ months. I can't imagine how hard it must be to work through such a situation when you know you've lost everything that you didn't take with you when evacuating. Somehow, one of the student teachers at our school doesn't even have a drivers license, which I find to be a bit of a concern for student safety. (At least she seems nice.)

I've spent the last couple of days wondering what happened to the Audubon Zoo in New Orleans, but I haven't had a chance until tonight to get online to investigate. I knew that most of the animals in the aquarium perished when the generators died, leaving their habitats unsupported. Fortunately, the sea dragons were saved. However, amazingly the zoo is okay! Only two otters and a raccoon died in the storm. My horomones have got to have a lot to do with why I have been crying after reading the good news. My goodness, I am weepy.(