Two Embryos: Our Only Hope

I'm sure most everyone has seen the movie Star Wars...

This morning I found out none of our remaining embryos made it to blastocyst stage, and as a result we don't have any to freeze. I'm immensely disappointed.

The scene in Star Wars where a hollogram of Princess Leia repeats, "Help me OB-1 Kanobe, your my only hope." Keeps popping into my head. Since it's doubtful my husband and I will have the resources to do IVF ever again, these two embryos are now our only hope.

We've been trying to start a family for three years. It's hard to believe that in less than two weeks we will either be elated by good news or completely devastated by our loss. There will be no point in continuing to try on our own with the severe MFI that we are battling.

I'm not sure I will know what to do when this is all over, regardless of the outcome. If I get a BFP I will freak out and be a nervous wreck the entire first trimester. If I get a BFN I'll be at an utter loss on multiple levels. It will take time to pick up the pieces.

One of my goals, should this fail, will be to get myself back in shape. I've been so afraid to exercise the last couple of years that I've gotten a bit soft. In fact, I've gone up a dress size and am close to going up yet again. So, my goal will be to get back into my size twos if this fails.

However, I keep looking at the pictures of my two embryos. I've been pleading for them to grow and begging them to prepare for implantation. The embryologist told me she has a hunch that they are girls. Of course, I could care less if they are girls or boys. I'm just praying that at least one of those precious embryos will stick.