Two More Days...

First of all today is my 9th wedding anniversary. I can't tell you how many times I have almost forgotten this fact, since it seems as though the day has been trumped by the whirlwind of this IVF cycle.

My first thought in regards to this anniversary is that I can't believe I am so old! Nine years...

Nine years of dealing with dh's inevitable, multiple sports accidents involving the emergency room. During this time we've also survived the stress of me earning my Master's Degree, the beginning stages of cervical cancer well past dysplasia, two surgeries endometriosis, six months of Lupron induced pseudomenopuase, three cycles of clomid, three clomid/IUI cycles, injection classes, four Gonal-F/IUI cycles, multiple visits to the REs office that reduced me to tears, and an IVF.

Talk about "in sickness and in health." I don't know how my dh has managed to hang through it all and be there for me. For almost two years he managed to be off for all of my multiple pap smears to check to see if the cancer was really gone, because I was too scared to go alone, until the day finally came that he had to get a new job because his female boss felt inferior to him with her lesser education and began to cause difficulties. Ironically the difficulties she created actually stemmed from an on the job injury. If only I had been older, and more experienced with dirty politics so many others play, so that I could have been a help to him for a change.

But, here we are now. Two days from finding out if this IVF cycle worked. I hope that my dh isn't left with yet another situation where he has to be my backbone. He has already prevented me from being little more than a puddle on the floor on multiple occassions.

Dh was talking with one of his coworkers today who did an IVF cycle a year and a half ago: one that worked. He's been so worried about my knots and welts from these PIO shots, and he's afraid he's done something wrong. Thankfully, she was able to give him some reassurance that the same thing happened to her. She told him that after only a short time her husband had to start injecting through those knots. Lovely.

But, she also told him about how convinced she was that her own cycle had failed. Supposedly she had experienced no signs or symptoms. She wasn't bloated, her breasts didn't hurt, and she felt all too normal. However, she came out of the cycle with a bfp. She wasn't even working with my drs office, but instead was dealing with the university clinic that has much lower IVF success stats.

So, perhaps I shouldn't give up hope yet. Maybe I can get myself pulled together so that we can go out and do something tonight. We have a lot to celebrate. I don't think too many relationships would have made it nine years through some of the obstacles that we have experienced.

Let's just see what curve ball life has to throw us next.