Post Wine and Anger Ramblings

Well, I had a day yesterday. A day that brought me home on the verge of tears.

I spend most of Monday and Tuesday working with my class that provides the greatest behavior challenge. Really, the kids weren't so bad, because I kept them busy with engaging Fibonacci, writing, painting, and microscope activities. We actually had quite a bit of fun. However, helping kids understand how the Fibonacci sequence applies to nature, assisting with kids who don't know how to use Word or save to a floppy disk, setting up paint supplies, and teaching the proper methods of using a microscope really keeps a teacher on her toes.

Really, it was the students' regular classroom teachers who made my blood boil. In the past I know I've blogged about a teacher with a two year old who asked me for tips about adoption because she just couldn't endure the hardships of another pregnancy. (The asshat assumed a lot didn't she?) This is also the the same teacher who declared herself infertile after trying for seven entire months without using protection. (That's when I responded flippantly, "Congratulations!!! It should happen for you any month now. After all, the national average is seven months." She reacted with mixed surprise and resentment to my comment. And, I have felt guilty about my own reaction for the past few weeks.) Well, don't you know it, the bitch is pregnant. Apparently she really did end up on the right side of the statistics just over a month after my comment. I had actually considered apologizing to her last week about my comment, and probably would have if she weren't such a negative and unpleasant person to talk to in general. Imagine my response if she had told me after my apology, "That's okay! You were right. I'm pregnant." I probably would have vomited.

Another teacher on that grade level passed out invitations to her second child's first birthday party to the bitchy teacher and another teacher on the team, both who have toddlers, right in front of me at snack time. Considering there were plenty of times that I wasn't around them during the day, and this teacher used to be my friend and knows I've been ttc forever, I just thought it was rude: the sort of display I call infertility discrimination. Of course, I definitely don't want to attend the first birthday party. However, if she's not inviting the world she should have passed out the invitations in private. Stupid fertile witch! (Who admits she got knocked up the second time around the first night she and her dh had sex after she had her first baby. It must be great to be able to just insert penis and get knocked up.)

The fact that I was suffering from PMS only made things worse. And, I had already invited my parents over for dinner since dh is out of town this week. After work I rushed to the store to purchase the ingredients for shrimp enchilado. I came home and peeled the two pounds of shrimp, chopped up the peppers and onions, cooked it according to the directions, and managed to present it with some manner of grace. Thank goodness the recipe called for some dry white wine, which created a great excuse to have a glass with dinner in the middle of the week.

After my very exhausting day I crashed on the couch watching television. I watched the first hour of Gilligan's Island and then flipped over to see The Amazing Race. Gilligan's Island was actually so boring that I got up and whipped together a peanut butter pie.

Thank goodness I had planning the first part of the day today. Since I only get planning two days a week, I get it for a decent stretch of time. I was able to calm myself down before bringing my wrath down on my sweet, innocent fourth graders. Then, having left over shrimp enchilado and peanut butter pie for lunch really did a lot to calm my nerves. Peanut butter pie has a satisfactory "mouth feel."

Thank goodness for wine after a day that surely would have resulted in a magical display of witchcraft if magic really existed. I was angry enough to launch myself to the moon. Poor dh! When he called last night I had to apologize emphatically for being too physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted to be able to participate in anything resembling a decent conversation.

Oh, and back to that witch in "Team Fertile." It seems I was the last to know she was pregnant. I can only hope that could be a sign that she was embarrassed about her own behavior towards me in recent months.