Discouraging First Ultrasound

I'm very discouraged by my u/s today. I have five follicles growing on my right and two, that we could see, growing on the left. They are between 10 and 14 mm. I had hoped that perhaps my meds would be increased and maybe a few more follicles would join the party. The only good news is that my lining supposedly looks good and already measures 8mm.

Well, I just received my call back, and the protocol is remaining the same: one amp of Gonal-F in the morning and a half of an amp in the evening. I am still doing 5 units of Lupron. Wednesday night we switch from half an amp of Gonal-F to half an amp of Pergonal. Then Thursday morning I only do half an amp of Gonal-F and come in for another ultrasound.

I made a comment about how my left ovary is so hard to see well on u/s and expressed concerns about retrieval. The u/s tech then said that I would have a difficult retrieval. [:(]

I just feel like my RE has been too conservative. I was basically on this same dosage of meds for my second Gonal-F IUI cycle. I only made five mature follicles that cycle, so I don't know why the dr wouldn't push at least a little bit harder for an IVF cycle.

I'm seriously considering the possibility of cancelling this cycle myself. This cycle could very well be my only chance. I don't live in a state that provides an sort of IVF coverage, and on a teacher's salary there's no way that I can afford another cycle. The only slim hope I have is that my dh is considering a job in Florida, and supposedly there is a bill there that would mandate the coverage of a single IVF by any insurance company that covers prenatal care. (This is a no brainer to me. In fact, I think that nationwide insurance companies should have to cover a first IVF and then a second IVF if the first one doesn't work. After all, the average couple has two children. Why should the infertile couple not receive coverage of more than one IVF? Could you see insurance changing its mind and covering prenatal care for only one pregnancy, since it is supposedly so expensive?)

Started Stims

My baseline ultrasound and bloodwork were done on Friday morning. During my ultrasound I saw twelve or thirteen antral follicles. It's hard for me to read my left ovary, since it doesn't seem to be in a very cooperative position most of the times.

Well, things looked good enough to get this IVF cycle rolling. I did one and a half amps of Gonal-F last night. (Well, from the pen.) Today I started my routine of 5 units of Lupron, one amp of Gonal-F in the morning, and a half of an amp of Gonal-F at night. I go on Tuesday morning for another ultrasound.

I'm concerned that I'm not on enough meds. I did an amp and a half of Gonal-F for one of my previous IUI cycles. I really thought that I would be on more.

Thank Goodness, the Antibiotics Are Finished!!!

I've finished another step in the process by completing my ten day course of doxycycline, and not a day too soon. I was really starting to experience some side effects such as stomach cramping. Since endometriosis and IBS all too often occur together for patients, I was starting to get worried. Thank goodness dh was level-headed enough to remind me that it was probably the antibiotics.

So, for a few days I'm only on Lupron. I have an assortment of tiny bruises all over my legs from those shots, as if I was plagued by an assortment of small insects. I've woken up once or twice each night because of night sweats, and suffered from some mild headaches. Fortunately, the side effects haven't been nearly as bad as when I was on Lupron for endometriosis.

Friday morning is my baseline ultrasound. So, I only have a few more days to go before I find out whether or not we can begin.

Full Fledged Lupron Madness

As I suspected, this Lupron dosage isn't easy, although it is still a walk in the park compared to the endometriosis dosage.

As a teacher at the end of the year I've been subjected to multiple student assemblies in a gym without air conditioning. One afternoon there was probably as many as 900 bodies adding to the heat of a May afternoon in the deep south. I kid you not, I literally had to peel my clothes off of myself when I got home, and changed into a tank top and shorts immediately.

Then, there's the rage. I live in one of the many areas where the roads and traffic light timing are just not keeping up with the traffic increase. At least eight assorted assholes caused me to go off in a rage. I am amazed by the number of idiots who think it is just fine to drive like maniacs and squeeze into another lane where there wasn't enough room, nearly causing an accident. There was a truck hauling dirt that was continuously emitting pure black exhaust, which caused me to scream about my future eggs....

And then there was "Louise B." I was expecting a grandma based on the personalized plate. This car whizzed from the right lane directly over in front of me only to whiz back over into the right lane where there once again was no room. There was absolutely no benefit from this maniac's manuevers. Come to find out a man was driving this vehicle. Louise B, you may want to have a serious talk with your son or your husband about his antics while driving your vehicle.

I pulled into the faculty parking lot shouting because yet another teacher was unable to successfully park her mid-size SUV in the parking place. Parking is limited, and I'm afraid that the assortment of full-size SUVs that were not yet accounted for will remodel my own vehicle while trying to park between us. Just great!!!!

The final straw is one of my students placed on hall duty outside of my room. Since that happened this quarter, he bugs me every single morning. It just sucks not to be able to have a peaceful morning. Often he needs tissues to deal with his allergies, which is perfectly understandable. Other days he needs pens, since he comes to the hall unprepared for his duties. Today he wanted a rubberband to affix a bandana around his head. I am certainly not handing any impulsive child a rubberband in a hallway full of kids. Basically, I told him I was tired of him busting into my room every single morning before the bell rings.

It's not even 8:00 a.m. yet. I must calm down. "I will have a good day." "I will have a good day." I will have..."

Thank goodness there is only one more week of school.

Lupron Begins 5/13/05

Tomorrow I begin the daily Lupron injections. I will continue with the bcps through 5/17. Dh and I also begin antibiotics.

I'm concerned about how the Lupron will make me feel, since it was 88 degrees here today. When I was on Lupron for endo I suffered from insomnia, night sweats, bone pain, headaches, border-line anorexia, and terrible bruises. Of course, I will be on a much smaller dose this time, and it's only for a few weeks.

It looks like things are getting started for this IVF cycle.

My school is going to host the area math, science, and technology inservice for two weeks this summer. This would be the same inservice that I told my principal I couldn't attend because I was having surgery that had to be done during the middle of that time.

Well, now that the inservice will be at our school, we've been told that we can't pack up our rooms and prepare them for summer cleaning until June 18th. And then we are supposed to come in and pick up everything off the floor and put the computers on the counters so the floors can be stripped. This is a HUGE job!!! And at that time I will be only half way through my IVF 2WW if all goes well. Of course I won't be doing any lifting then! I'm so upset. I plan this cycle for a time when I'm supposed to have minimal conflicts as a teacher, and now this happens.

Mock Transfer is Over

According to my RE, my mock transfer was excellent on Monday. I felt some mild jabbing, but nothing like the painful experience during the one IUI where I was poked. Actually, the mock transfer was easier than any of my IUIs. Hopefully the actual transfer will go as well.

I did have some occassional mild cramping through Tuesday, but nothing bad. I'm told the valium prescribed for transfer day helps to prevent cramping. I hope so!

And, I have found a dress for the day of my transfer! I've been searching for a short shirtdress that I can easily get on and off without bending over. This one is short and pale pink with small dragonflies embroidered all over it. I have read that dragonflies are supposed to be lucky symbols. Plus, the dress is only $24!

My Mock Transfer Is Today

I head out this afternoon for my mock transfer. The IVF nurse forewarned me that it's not uncommon for the back of the uterus to get hit during this procedure. This actually happened to me during my 5th IUI, and it hurts! Afterwards I cramped for hours. So, now I'm nervous about the mock transfer.

I'll update with how it went soon.